FIC: Getting the Point Across [House, M.D.]

[darktrent182]

TITLE: Getting the Point Across
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gregory House, James Wilson, or Alison Cameron. They belong to David Shore (I think), and I only borrowed them for a little while. I didn't make any money off this, nor do I intend to.
FANDOM: House, M.D.
PAIRING: House/Wilson
RATING: Methinks the littles can read this and not come away scarred.
WARNINGS: Slash, but then you already knew that, didn't you?
WORD COUNT: 970
CHALLENGE: Fic Request Lemming found on leaper182, found here.
NOTES: For sarcasticsra. Also, only slightly beta'd. I apologize in advance for it sucking.

* * * * *

"For the last time, I'm Not Interested In You," House enunciated slowly, as if that were the real reason she wasn't getting the message.

Cameron shook her head. "You're just hiding it because you don't want to admit to yourself that the real reason you hired me was you wanted to sleep with me."

"I hired you because you're pretty," House's voice rose. "People like dealing with pretty doctors, which means they'll spend more time wanting to talk to you instead of me."

In the hallway, unbeknownst to House or Cameron, Wilson found himself wandering obliviously into the escalating argument, much like a hamster scampering toward a very high, very sharp cliff. He hadn't been able to see House all day, and since he had a few minutes free, he'd thought he'd drop by, trade a few snarks, sneak a quick kiss, and then back to work like a good little head of the oncology department. When he noticed Cameron through the glass wall, he contemplated waiting to see if it was news about their most recent patient with the mystery illness, but House's annoyed expression probably meant it was something else.

So, he opted for sticking his head in and asking, "House? You busy?"

"Wilson, thank God." Relief bled into House's expression until he looked like he'd stepped in half-dried dog crap. "Just the man I wanted to see. Get in here."

Wilson blinked, raising an eyebrow at him as he came into the office. "Normally, I wouldn't follow your orders, mein Fuhrer, but what's going on?"

"Nothing serious." The look House shot Cameron told another story. "Just explaining the Facts of Life to Cameron here." With that, he gingerly moved his leg off his desk and stood slowly.

Wilson frowned. "I can come back another time, House."

"No, get over here," House ordered. "You're just the guy to help me out."

"And do what exactly?" Wilson eyed Cameron, who was looking at House peevishly and folding her arms across her chest.

"Would you quit whining and get over here?" House pointed at a spot right next to where he was standing. "It's nothing illegal."

"Whatever you're planning isn't going to work," Cameron said firmly.

"What isn't going to work?" Wilson asked curiously as he walked around Cameron.

"That's for me to know and for you two to find out, isn't it?" House answered snidely. "Sometime this year would be nice, Wilson."

"Ohh, no." Wilson shook his head, mirroring Cameron by folding his arms across his chest. "I know you. Unless you clue me in on this, I'm not doing anything."

House rolled his eyes, clearly reining in irritation. "Cameron is operating under the assumption that I want to sleep with her."

"I thought she'd been thinking that since you first hired her," Wilson replied, confusion starting to settle in.

"I am still here," Cameron said pointedly.

"Okay," Wilson turned to her, summoning what patience he could. "So, what's different now?"

Before Cameron could answer, House cut in. "She thinks that because Stacy's part of the hospital's legal counsel, I need a girlfriend," House said the word as if it needed disinfectant, "to support me in my time of need."

"That's a bit... disturbing," Wilson said slowly, not quite sure if he heard correctly. He ignored Cameron's indignant squawk.

"Which is why I need you on this side of the desk," House said reasonably, leaning his cane against the side of his desk and leaning on the edge of it with his left leg.

Still with some misgivings, Wilson walked around the desk until he was standing in front of House. "Okay, now what?"

He belatedly realized he should've asked a different question when House reached out with both hands and kissed him deeply. Eyes wide but tongue still traitorously twisting and tangling with House's, Wilson could hear a voice in his head not unlike House's saying, Damn, Wilson, you didn't just open the door -- you invited the whole neighborhood with that one!

The glass door slamming shut with an ominous rattle was the only indication they had had an audience.

House looked entirely too smug when he pulled away from the kiss, very much the cat who ate the whole pet store's supply of birds. "Well, it looks like my girlfriend ditched me in my hour of need, Wilson."

"I thought you didn't want to scare the ducklings."

"I felt Cameron needed to learn a very important lesson," House sniffed.

"What, that you'll kiss me every time she brings up the idea of a long-term relationship with you?"

"No, the fact that I already have someone, and she's not it."

"You do realize that she's going to assume that you kissed me in front of her just to make her go away."

"Ahh, but that's the beauty of it." House grinned. "The more she walks in on us kissing, the more she has to accept that we're romantically involved."

"Or she'll have to admit to having some kind of strange voyeuristic fetish."

"For some reason, the idea of Cameron liking to watch us scares me," House remarked. "And just for that disturbing mental image, you get to pay for dinner tonight, and then take me home so that we can have wild, outrageous sex."

"Wow, wild sex with you?" Wilson pretended to look shocked. "A hardship?"

House picked up his cane with a smirk and lightly smacked Wilson in the leg with it. "You know you love it."

"Hmmm. Wild sex with you, or going home to my wife." Wilson pretended to think it over. "It's almost disturbing how easy that decision is."

"You were the one that married her." House shrugged.

"Hmmm, true. Maybe I should get a divorce."

"See if you can't keep the TV this time," House suggested. "I've grown rather fond of it."

END

Comments

[amazonqueenkate.livejournal.com]

GO HOUSE! Show that eviiiiiil Emo!Cam who's boss.

I loved it. :) Which goes without saying, but you know.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

::does the Happy Dance of Happy Readers::

[like-cairo.livejournal.com]

That was amazing even though I don't really know who they are, because I still have managed to miss every House episode that's been on so far. But your House is wonderfully snarky, as is your Wilson. :D :D

"Or she'll have to admit to having some kind of strange voyeuristic fetish."

Hee, my favorite part.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Oh, noes!!!1!

I'll have to either call you or email you a lot in order to get you to see House. The next episode will be tomorrow at 9pm.

[sarcasticsra]

*loves*

But you already knew that, didn't you? This doesn't suck. xD

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

It always helps to get confirmation. ^_^

[cueballex.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, awesome! I love how he shows Cameron she is, in fact, wrong. (Also reminds me of a fic or two we need to finish.)

[wraith816.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha!

*drags show's writers over to fic, points*
That's what we want!

Very nice! :D

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

::snerk::

Danke schoen. ::bows humbly::

Because, really, House/Cameron is getting annoying.

[neverbelonged.livejournal.com]

woohoo! Great job. perfect way to get her off his back. love it!

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked. ^_^

[la-reine-bleu.livejournal.com]

Having only recently been indoctrinated into the joys of House, I have only one comment - LOVED THIS!!!! #

*keeps mental image of those two scaring Cameron in head for future amusement for rest of evening*

Will have to check out this place more often! (and also watch more episodes of House... *curses lack of Sky*)

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

*patpat*

mynuet burned all of season one onto CDs for me, though I'm very tempted to buy the boxed set on 8/31.

Glad you liked. I highly recommend isagel, kassrachel, and m_butterfly, btw.

[sheikah]

Oh lovely! This is the one I sorta kinda tried to beta. I'm too nice to beta for friends...lol. I like it anonymous...

Of course, yours needed no help whatsoever. :-D

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's okay. woffproff makes a semi-bad beta as well, and I love her to pieces, too. ^_^

::blush::

Glad you liked.

[genagirl.livejournal.com]

Niiiice! If Cameron can't see how in love H&W are, she's blind. She needs to hook up with Foreman and leave Wilson's boyfriend alone.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

WILSON: He's *mine*. Back off.

HOUSE: Ooh, Wilson. I didn't know you could be so masterful. Save me from the sex appeal just oozing out of you. *snarky grin*

WILSON: *glare*

[executivehpfan.livejournal.com]

Yay. I hate Cameron so much. Basically because she went from this independent, intelligent, and interesting woman in the earlier episodes to this needy, immature, whiny, presumptuous cling-on by the time "Role Model" came around. Earlier, in fact.
Plus, I totally navigate on the good ship House/Wilson. ^_^
Very well done here.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I can understand when producers want to create female characters with their own Issues -- women have just as much right to be screwed up as men, imho -- but when they take a character with potential, and rip out any potential to be a Good Character, as opposed to a one-dimensional hanger-on, I don't like it.

As for the fic itself, glad you liked. ^_^

[danakszoul.livejournal.com]

Boykiss! I loveses you!!! Okay, you probably already knew that...

=^_^=
Anne

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Aww, shucks.

::blush::

::scuffs toe::

Glad you liked. ^_^

[beatle-becks.livejournal.com]

Christ, I hate Cameron so much. *bangs head against the wall*
Could HL and RSL just have the wild sex that obviously takes place with the characters between scenes... on screen?

I loved this :)

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Cameron went from having so much potential to being a whiny, needy annoyance.

And yes, I want a House/Wilson sex scene. Or at least passionate smooching.

Lots of it. Stat.

DOUBLE STAT.

Glad you liked it. ^_^

[byrons-brain.livejournal.com]

Very funny, I loved this story.... more now, pleased.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

::blinkblinkblink::

Oh, hello!

Glad you liked the story. ^_^

[nikki74.livejournal.com]

Oh My God!!!!
I loved this.really, really.That's how it should have been - Cameron pulls him against the wall and Wilson 'saves' him.oh, yes.
Lovey ^^

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm getting so many *comments*.

::pleasantly surprised grin::

Glad you liked it.

[aheartfulofyou.livejournal.com]

I LOVED IT! I really, really want to say "aww", so...

AWW.

I've read fics with this premise before, but you pulled it off so well and so in-character. I adore it.

Oh, I so have to tell you about the dream I had last night. *Rolls eyes*. You were in it, as were our two favorite guys from the above fic. That's my random thought to you.

Loved it. *Thumbs up*.

ETA: You're confusing me! *Sheepish grin*. You posted this under a different username and... etc, etc. Anyway. LOVED THE FIC. Still.

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

darktrent182 is my fic journal. leaper182 is my regular, primary journal.

O_O

I was in your DREAM?! DUDE!

But hey, thank you for the feedback! Glad you liked. I always worry about writing something that people think is drek.

Hee.

[spookster831.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this. Yeah I know... what a dull comment. :D

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

::blinkblinkblink::

A new commenter! Ooooh!

::eyes the new commenter with interest::

How did you find this fic? Who sent you? Where do you come from?

Squeeeeeeeeeeee?

Love the icon, btw. ^_^

[emella.livejournal.com]

Aww! So cute! :D

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

*gasp!*

A random person I don't know!

YAY!

Hello, random person!

*waves happily*

I'm glad you liked it. :D

Fic: Getting the Point Across

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

Very good explanation for the change in Cameron's behaviour.
And I did like Wilson's refusal to go along with a plan he knew nothing about.
Very House.

reposted because the first time it was wonky

[willdew.livejournal.com]

In the hallway, unbeknownst to House or Cameron, Wilson found himself wandering obliviously into the escalating argument, much like a hamster scampering toward a very high, very sharp cliff.

OMG this has to be one of the all-time best lines to ever be written in the history of the English language. I'm almost sad it's in a fic and not in official print.

And this:


House picked up his cane with a smirk and lightly smacked Wilson in the leg with it. "You know you love it."

"Hmmm. Wild sex with you, or going home to my wife." Wilson pretended to think it over. "It's almost disturbing how easy that decision is."


Oh man. House using his cane for sexy purposes is probably a mainstay of kinky fic in this fandom, but I haven't really read any except for yours, so it's still fresh to me. *Dies.* The bit about the TV was so horrible, I bet he'd say it.