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darktrent182TITLE: Learning
DISCLAIMER: The characters included in this fic don't belong to me -- they belong to Bioware, George Lucas owns Star Wars as a whole, so on and so forth. Written for entertainment purposes, no money made, please don't sue, yadda.
FANDOM: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic I
INCARNATION: Light-Side-Male!Revan
WORD COUNT: 1,710
RATING: G
SUMMARY: After the fall of the Star Forge, Bastila learns something about Revan.
WARNING(S): If you haven't played or finished the game, you might want to give this fic a miss.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've actually had this story sitting on my hard drive for a long time, and had shown it to others. However, considering that when I delved into the fandom itself, there didn't appear to be any slash except for F!Revan/Bastila and F!Revan/Juhani, I ended up not posting this. Upon discovering![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
kotorslash, however, my spirits were lifted, and I'd like to see how this fares. :D
***
It was nice to be outside, Revan decided. Away from the holovid reporters, lights flashing, people shoving recorders in his face and demanding all kinds of strange information from him. As much as he'd wanted to buck against the stillness inside the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine, part of him longed for it now.
Maybe that was why he was out here, sitting on a hill, overlooking a surprisingly green piece of landscape. Sunset was just beginning, the single sun beginning to turn from yellow to an orange color. It tickled at the back of his mind, but when he tried to follow the thought -- or was it a memory? -- it drifted away as quickly as it had arrived.
"Revan?"
He had a feeling that he wouldn't have been able to escape other sentients for long. Luckily, this was someone he was familiar with. Not looking away from the sunset, he patted the patch of grass next to him.
A lithe human woman came into his peripheral vision to his left, looking at him curiously. "What are you doing out here?"
Revan shrugged, pointing at the sun. "Watching the sunset."
She turned, blue eyes squinting as the sun continued to slowly change colors. "Ah."
He patted the grass again. "You can sit, if you want."
"I see," she said. She hesitated for a moment, and then sat next to him. Not close enough for him to loop an arm around her shoulders comfortably, but not far enough away to stop casual conversation. Something must have been on her mind.
"Wanted to get away from the reporters too?" he asked lightly.
She looked over at him curiously. Revan raised an eyebrow at her and smiled.
She returned the smile a bit shyly. "Perhaps a little."
Revan nodded. "It's interesting. When I got to the Enclave on Dantooine, it was always too quiet, and now that it's just a big crater, all I want is silence."
"I find myself craving solitude as well," the woman admitted, reaching up to tuck some brown hair behind an ear.
"What say we find the launch codes, grab the Ebon Hawk, and get out of here?" Revan suggested with a grin.
She shot him a scandalized look before she shot him a thoroughly disapproving look. "Very funny, Revan."
"I thought so too, Bastila." Revan winked at her. "But really, why be out here? I'm sure the press isn't something a Jedi's scared of, especially if there's Masters in there still wining and dining the diplomats."
Bastila snorted. "Such spectacles are for the amusement of the people of the galaxy, not because the Order wishes to indulge in such things."
Revan raised a curious eyebrow at her. "Doesn't the Order serve the people of the galaxy?" At Bastila's surprised look, he shrugged. "I mean, think about it. Jedi run around the galaxy, settling trade disputes, making sure that the bad guys don't win and oppress people weaker than themselves, that kind of thing, right? So, aren't we really just glorified security for the galaxy who just happen to have neat powers to help us do our job better?"
Bastila blinked and frowned for a moment, turning back to the sunset. "You make it sound as though we're droids."
"Aren't we?" Revan asked, his eyebrows lifting.
"We're not mindless drones." Bastila frowned. "We have the option of leaving the Order."
"As long as we don't prove a threat to the rest of existence as we know it," Revan remarked with a less-than-pleasant smile.
Bastila frowned again, opening her mouth to argue further, but surprisingly, she shook her head and stopped herself, exhaling slowly through her nose.
The silence between them was nearly deafening.
Breaking it, Revan smirked a bit sardonically. "Y'know, somebody on the Council had some real creativity."
"Creativity?" Bastila frowned. "What do you mean?"
Revan tapped the side of his head. "The bit about mourning a dead lover was a nice touch. I wonder if Vrook was responsible for it. He seems like the type."
"Mourning a dead lover?" She blinked.
Revan raised an eyebrow at her. "So, you didn't know about it." The way he said it made the question a statement.
Bastila shook her head. "Your name was Danil Tanstar. Your parents were Republic supporters on Deralia..." Her voice trailed off, and it was a long moment before she spoke again. "Who is this dead lover?"
Revan shook his head. "That's the hell of it -- I don't know." He shrugged. "I can only remember little bits and pieces of him."
"Him?" Bastila's eyes widened.
"Yeah..." Revan stopped when he saw her expression and shot her an amused look. "You look shocked."
"I... well, that is--"
He turned to look out over the cliff they were sitting on. "You thought that we'd fall in love because of the bond between us."
Bastila gritted her teeth and glanced away, clearing her throat. "I… I was mistaken."
Revan turned back to her. "I'm sorry, Bastila. I'm pretty sure that anything else I say isn't going to make it any easier for you, but..." Revan paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "It's... I'm really flattered that you'd think of me that way."
Man, that sounded pathetic.
Revan winced. "Um, what I meant to say was--"
Bastila shook her head quickly. "It's all right, really. It was a moment of foolishness."
Revan snorted. "It's not foolish to want to love someone, Bastila."
"But I'm a Jedi, Revan," Bastila replied firmly. "Jedi are supposed to be above such things."
"And Jedi aren't supposed to fall to the Dark Side."
Bastila winced. "...That is true."
"Hey, I'm not the sterling example here, Bastila." Revan pointed out. "I just have the questionable luxury of not being able to remember a damn thing about the atrocities I committed while being the Dark Lord of the Sith."
"The Council did what was best--"
Revan sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Bastila, but I still have a serious problem with the Council deciding to play with my life like some deity of a backwater planet."
"Revan--"
"Sorry." Revan shook his head, holding up a hand. "Guess I need to meditate a little more on the infinite wisdom of the Council."
Bastila frowned. "It was this kind of impertinence that caused you to fall the first time, Revan."
"And if I fall a second time, the Council will just wipe my memory again? Would you be the first one in line, preparing me for it, telling me that it's not going to hurt at all?" Revan stopped, and sighed again. He seemed to be doing that quite a bit. "That was uncalled for. Sorry."
Bastila glared at him. "You should be."
"Still..." Revan stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. "I don't think it was impertinence that caused me to fall. Not that kind, anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"If this mystery lover in my memories wasn't a result of the Council, it would make sense that it was a memory of mine that managed to survive the wipe, right?"
Bastila shook her head. "But nothing of the old Revan should have survived."
"You were relying on my subconscious to lead you to the Star Maps, weren't you?" Revan shot her a less-than-pleasant look.
Bastila frowned, looking offended but her gaze became calculating at the same time. "You have a point."
Revan shrugged. "People do some really dumb stuff for love. If I really loved this guy, whoever he was, I might've gone to fight the Mandalorians to protect him. Or maybe even to fight alongside him."
"Proving just why Jedi should never love."
Revan snorted. "That is such a crock of bantha crap and you know it."
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Bastila asked icily. "Surely, you aren't implying that I--"
Revan raised an eyebrow at her challengingly. "Bastila, you've come to care about the crew, right? Even if it isn't romantic love, you still give a damn about everybody on the Ebon Hawk."
"Well, that may be," Bastila protested, "but that's really beside the point!"
"Is it?" Revan shot back. "The Jedi Masters teach us that attachments are hindrances, that they can only lead us down the path of the Dark Side. A true Jedi would've let Carth be sacrificed for the good of the mission if they were standing where I was on the Leviathan."
Bastila frowned severely. "The fact that you offered Admiral Karath even the slightest bit of information jeopardized our mission!"
"And maybe I didn't want to see Carth die," Revan answered firmly, turning back to the view. "Would you have watched Carth suffer like that and call on the Code to get you through it? 'Cause I sure as hell couldn't."
He was expecting for Bastila to come back with something, possibly keep the argument going and give them both a chance to let off some steam, but when he glanced away from the sunset back to her, she was looking at him steadily.
"On the Leviathan, Admiral Karath said that torturing you for the information would have been fruitless, and that he would instead hurt the one you cared about in order to get it."
"Yeah," Revan nodded and turned back to the sunset. He had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. "So, what?"
"He tortured Carth," Bastila said slowly. "Not me."
Revan shrugged, feeling that dip in the pit of his stomach growing. "Creative manipulation tactics, I would think. Either that, or Karath didn't want to do the cliché thing."
"Revan."
There was something in her voice, a hint of steel, but something... knowing as well. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything. I haven't overstepped the bounds of propriety just yet, and I don't intend to."
There was silence, and then, "Why?"
The question threw him. "Why what?"
"Why haven't you... succumbed... this time?" Bastila asked slowly, her hesitation obvious.
"If I fell to the Dark Side for him, he'd end up having to fight me in the end, or die trying." Revan sighed. "And I'd rather not have him hate me."
Revan felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he turned to look up into pale blue eyes.
"I'm sorry."
Revan half-smiled, laughing at himself internally even as he looked at Bastila. "So am I."
END
DISCLAIMER: The characters included in this fic don't belong to me -- they belong to Bioware, George Lucas owns Star Wars as a whole, so on and so forth. Written for entertainment purposes, no money made, please don't sue, yadda.
FANDOM: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic I
INCARNATION: Light-Side-Male!Revan
WORD COUNT: 1,710
RATING: G
SUMMARY: After the fall of the Star Forge, Bastila learns something about Revan.
WARNING(S): If you haven't played or finished the game, you might want to give this fic a miss.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've actually had this story sitting on my hard drive for a long time, and had shown it to others. However, considering that when I delved into the fandom itself, there didn't appear to be any slash except for F!Revan/Bastila and F!Revan/Juhani, I ended up not posting this. Upon discovering
kotorslash, however, my spirits were lifted, and I'd like to see how this fares. :D***
It was nice to be outside, Revan decided. Away from the holovid reporters, lights flashing, people shoving recorders in his face and demanding all kinds of strange information from him. As much as he'd wanted to buck against the stillness inside the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine, part of him longed for it now.
Maybe that was why he was out here, sitting on a hill, overlooking a surprisingly green piece of landscape. Sunset was just beginning, the single sun beginning to turn from yellow to an orange color. It tickled at the back of his mind, but when he tried to follow the thought -- or was it a memory? -- it drifted away as quickly as it had arrived.
"Revan?"
He had a feeling that he wouldn't have been able to escape other sentients for long. Luckily, this was someone he was familiar with. Not looking away from the sunset, he patted the patch of grass next to him.
A lithe human woman came into his peripheral vision to his left, looking at him curiously. "What are you doing out here?"
Revan shrugged, pointing at the sun. "Watching the sunset."
She turned, blue eyes squinting as the sun continued to slowly change colors. "Ah."
He patted the grass again. "You can sit, if you want."
"I see," she said. She hesitated for a moment, and then sat next to him. Not close enough for him to loop an arm around her shoulders comfortably, but not far enough away to stop casual conversation. Something must have been on her mind.
"Wanted to get away from the reporters too?" he asked lightly.
She looked over at him curiously. Revan raised an eyebrow at her and smiled.
She returned the smile a bit shyly. "Perhaps a little."
Revan nodded. "It's interesting. When I got to the Enclave on Dantooine, it was always too quiet, and now that it's just a big crater, all I want is silence."
"I find myself craving solitude as well," the woman admitted, reaching up to tuck some brown hair behind an ear.
"What say we find the launch codes, grab the Ebon Hawk, and get out of here?" Revan suggested with a grin.
She shot him a scandalized look before she shot him a thoroughly disapproving look. "Very funny, Revan."
"I thought so too, Bastila." Revan winked at her. "But really, why be out here? I'm sure the press isn't something a Jedi's scared of, especially if there's Masters in there still wining and dining the diplomats."
Bastila snorted. "Such spectacles are for the amusement of the people of the galaxy, not because the Order wishes to indulge in such things."
Revan raised a curious eyebrow at her. "Doesn't the Order serve the people of the galaxy?" At Bastila's surprised look, he shrugged. "I mean, think about it. Jedi run around the galaxy, settling trade disputes, making sure that the bad guys don't win and oppress people weaker than themselves, that kind of thing, right? So, aren't we really just glorified security for the galaxy who just happen to have neat powers to help us do our job better?"
Bastila blinked and frowned for a moment, turning back to the sunset. "You make it sound as though we're droids."
"Aren't we?" Revan asked, his eyebrows lifting.
"We're not mindless drones." Bastila frowned. "We have the option of leaving the Order."
"As long as we don't prove a threat to the rest of existence as we know it," Revan remarked with a less-than-pleasant smile.
Bastila frowned again, opening her mouth to argue further, but surprisingly, she shook her head and stopped herself, exhaling slowly through her nose.
The silence between them was nearly deafening.
Breaking it, Revan smirked a bit sardonically. "Y'know, somebody on the Council had some real creativity."
"Creativity?" Bastila frowned. "What do you mean?"
Revan tapped the side of his head. "The bit about mourning a dead lover was a nice touch. I wonder if Vrook was responsible for it. He seems like the type."
"Mourning a dead lover?" She blinked.
Revan raised an eyebrow at her. "So, you didn't know about it." The way he said it made the question a statement.
Bastila shook her head. "Your name was Danil Tanstar. Your parents were Republic supporters on Deralia..." Her voice trailed off, and it was a long moment before she spoke again. "Who is this dead lover?"
Revan shook his head. "That's the hell of it -- I don't know." He shrugged. "I can only remember little bits and pieces of him."
"Him?" Bastila's eyes widened.
"Yeah..." Revan stopped when he saw her expression and shot her an amused look. "You look shocked."
"I... well, that is--"
He turned to look out over the cliff they were sitting on. "You thought that we'd fall in love because of the bond between us."
Bastila gritted her teeth and glanced away, clearing her throat. "I… I was mistaken."
Revan turned back to her. "I'm sorry, Bastila. I'm pretty sure that anything else I say isn't going to make it any easier for you, but..." Revan paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. "It's... I'm really flattered that you'd think of me that way."
Man, that sounded pathetic.
Revan winced. "Um, what I meant to say was--"
Bastila shook her head quickly. "It's all right, really. It was a moment of foolishness."
Revan snorted. "It's not foolish to want to love someone, Bastila."
"But I'm a Jedi, Revan," Bastila replied firmly. "Jedi are supposed to be above such things."
"And Jedi aren't supposed to fall to the Dark Side."
Bastila winced. "...That is true."
"Hey, I'm not the sterling example here, Bastila." Revan pointed out. "I just have the questionable luxury of not being able to remember a damn thing about the atrocities I committed while being the Dark Lord of the Sith."
"The Council did what was best--"
Revan sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Bastila, but I still have a serious problem with the Council deciding to play with my life like some deity of a backwater planet."
"Revan--"
"Sorry." Revan shook his head, holding up a hand. "Guess I need to meditate a little more on the infinite wisdom of the Council."
Bastila frowned. "It was this kind of impertinence that caused you to fall the first time, Revan."
"And if I fall a second time, the Council will just wipe my memory again? Would you be the first one in line, preparing me for it, telling me that it's not going to hurt at all?" Revan stopped, and sighed again. He seemed to be doing that quite a bit. "That was uncalled for. Sorry."
Bastila glared at him. "You should be."
"Still..." Revan stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. "I don't think it was impertinence that caused me to fall. Not that kind, anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"If this mystery lover in my memories wasn't a result of the Council, it would make sense that it was a memory of mine that managed to survive the wipe, right?"
Bastila shook her head. "But nothing of the old Revan should have survived."
"You were relying on my subconscious to lead you to the Star Maps, weren't you?" Revan shot her a less-than-pleasant look.
Bastila frowned, looking offended but her gaze became calculating at the same time. "You have a point."
Revan shrugged. "People do some really dumb stuff for love. If I really loved this guy, whoever he was, I might've gone to fight the Mandalorians to protect him. Or maybe even to fight alongside him."
"Proving just why Jedi should never love."
Revan snorted. "That is such a crock of bantha crap and you know it."
"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Bastila asked icily. "Surely, you aren't implying that I--"
Revan raised an eyebrow at her challengingly. "Bastila, you've come to care about the crew, right? Even if it isn't romantic love, you still give a damn about everybody on the Ebon Hawk."
"Well, that may be," Bastila protested, "but that's really beside the point!"
"Is it?" Revan shot back. "The Jedi Masters teach us that attachments are hindrances, that they can only lead us down the path of the Dark Side. A true Jedi would've let Carth be sacrificed for the good of the mission if they were standing where I was on the Leviathan."
Bastila frowned severely. "The fact that you offered Admiral Karath even the slightest bit of information jeopardized our mission!"
"And maybe I didn't want to see Carth die," Revan answered firmly, turning back to the view. "Would you have watched Carth suffer like that and call on the Code to get you through it? 'Cause I sure as hell couldn't."
He was expecting for Bastila to come back with something, possibly keep the argument going and give them both a chance to let off some steam, but when he glanced away from the sunset back to her, she was looking at him steadily.
"On the Leviathan, Admiral Karath said that torturing you for the information would have been fruitless, and that he would instead hurt the one you cared about in order to get it."
"Yeah," Revan nodded and turned back to the sunset. He had a feeling this wasn't going to be good. "So, what?"
"He tortured Carth," Bastila said slowly. "Not me."
Revan shrugged, feeling that dip in the pit of his stomach growing. "Creative manipulation tactics, I would think. Either that, or Karath didn't want to do the cliché thing."
"Revan."
There was something in her voice, a hint of steel, but something... knowing as well. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything. I haven't overstepped the bounds of propriety just yet, and I don't intend to."
There was silence, and then, "Why?"
The question threw him. "Why what?"
"Why haven't you... succumbed... this time?" Bastila asked slowly, her hesitation obvious.
"If I fell to the Dark Side for him, he'd end up having to fight me in the end, or die trying." Revan sighed. "And I'd rather not have him hate me."
Revan felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he turned to look up into pale blue eyes.
"I'm sorry."
Revan half-smiled, laughing at himself internally even as he looked at Bastila. "So am I."
END
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 02:20 am (UTC)Glad I was able to make Revan into a person instead of just someone who fills in responses. Some of the responses that the game offered didn't really appeal too much, though I always keep playing LS characters.
But thank you for the feedback, and I'm glad I was able to keep Bastila IC as well. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 02:23 am (UTC)Glad to know that you liked it! :D
no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 02:24 am (UTC)Okay, now when someone who's never played the game says that it was a good fic, y'know that you've got it made. :D
Thanks, GFA. *hug!*
no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 08:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 02:34 pm (UTC)Yes, the world needs more LSM!Revan/Carth, and I will definitely be sure to post more on
Is it me, or does that comm seem just really quiet?
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 02:35 am (UTC)Not. Just. You.
And I'm the mod. :)
Honestly, I think it's just a difficult fandom to sustain an active community....so I just let it putter along as it is. I figure if someone has something to say, they will in their own time.
That being said, I keep hoping that someday KOTOR in general would get a notice in
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 04:49 am (UTC)But thank you for modding
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 03:20 pm (UTC)Oh absolutely. I love Yuletide. It's the gift that keeps on giving even if you're not a participant. *g*
(aside: Speaking in a roundabout way of
I just wish I wasn't so busy myself because after the fact I considered encouraging folks to participate in
But thank you for modding kotorslash. :D
No, thank you for posting there! I might not be an active member myself beyond issuing the random challenge and tagging posts but I do try to be a decent one. *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-12-23 07:33 pm (UTC)I also particularly liked the fact that Dantooine having one sun got a special mention - very Star Warsy!