Sooo, Harry was drowning in a lake of... SPIT!? Yuck! Clever, but yuck.
I also have to say that, in Poker Face, your way of making Bob believe that Harry kissed him because of the desire for power was a clever psychological twist. And I love how you let Harry's need to correct that misconception force him to admit his true feelings.
I think you did a very good job of keeping Bob and Murphy in character. And I like the fact that Bob finally meets Murphy.
I'm in the process of writing my own multi-chapter story. Unfortunately, I can't bring myself to post any of the chapters until it is finished. One reason is that I can't stand it when someone starts a multi-chapter story and then leaves loyal fans hanging, never finishing the story. The other reason is that I keep going back to add tiny bits and pieces to previous chapters. I like how you had Murphy and Bob interact when they first met. When mine meet, Murphy arrests Bob. Yes, I've figured out a whole new way for Bob to come back to life. Don't worry. I've got 16 out of twenty-five chapters done and its coming along great.
I hope you continue writing. I thoroughly enjoy your stories and can't wait for the next chapter.
Missing Persons
I also have to say that, in Poker Face, your way of making Bob believe that Harry kissed him because of the desire for power was a clever psychological twist. And I love how you let Harry's need to correct that misconception force him to admit his true feelings.
I think you did a very good job of keeping Bob and Murphy in character. And I like the fact that Bob finally meets Murphy.
I'm in the process of writing my own multi-chapter story. Unfortunately, I can't bring myself to post any of the chapters until it is finished. One reason is that I can't stand it when someone starts a multi-chapter story and then leaves loyal fans hanging, never finishing the story. The other reason is that I keep going back to add tiny bits and pieces to previous chapters. I like how you had Murphy and Bob interact when they first met. When mine meet, Murphy arrests Bob. Yes, I've figured out a whole new way for Bob to come back to life. Don't worry. I've got 16 out of twenty-five chapters done and its coming along great.
I hope you continue writing. I thoroughly enjoy your stories and can't wait for the next chapter.