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darktrent182TITLE: Vignette - The First Lover
DISCLAIMER: The Dresden Files doesn't belong to me – the TV series belongs to Lionsgate, and the characters themselves were created by Jim Butcher. Written for entertainment purposes, no money made, please don't sue, yadda. I created an original character for the purposes of this fic, and he might never be used again. I dunno.
FANDOM: The Dresden Files
PAIRING: Harry/Bob UST, Harry/OMC
WORD COUNT: 2,847
RATING: NC-17, all the way.
WARNINGS: M/M slash.
SUMMARY: He was a nice guy, and hell, Harry needed the experience anyway.
PRAISE BE: A warm thank you goes out to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shiplizard and beachkid for their beta-reading, encouragement, and questions. I wouldn't have been able to make it without their patience and awesomeness. Thank you, guys!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is part of the Forged series, which starts with Desperate Measures. You might want to read that first to understand what's going on.
***
His name was Dieter, and he kissed like he meant it.
He was a few inches taller than me, probably in his mid-forties, and his hands felt like he could break me in half if he felt like it. Fortunately for me, he was just holding onto my hips with a vise-like grip, and was still intent on shoving his tongue as far down my throat as he could.
I ended up having to stop the kiss when I saw the elevator light blink out. "Wait--"
"Muss ich?" It was a sign of how turned on I was that my translation spell was crapping out on me.
"The lights," I gasped out, my eyes closing as he started nibbling on my neck. "The elevator could screw up any minute."
The lips disappeared in the darkness, and when I concentrated on calming down, relaxing, the light gave a weak flicker, revealing Dieter's confused, blue eyes and short, white hair. "Das tut mir Leid?" he offered.
I murmured a quick word, and then explained it to him again.
"I've heard of this happening to people," Dieter offered, this time in English, "but this is ridiculous."
"I know," I told him, patting his arm awkwardly. "We need to get off on the next floor and take the stairs."
"That's not nearly as fun," Dieter rumbled, brushing a kiss against my lips.
I blinked at him, a bit surprised by the comment. I don't get a lot of compliments or hints that people are all that interested. So sue me. "We'll make up for it when we get to my room," I offered, jabbing the button to open the doors.
The elevator dinged, but the doors opened sluggishly, and I pushed Dieter out before the elevator car decided to drop the two of us down three floors to what could be a very messy end. I wasn't sure if that would really happen, but me and my libido weren't about to test the theory.
It took a few flights of stairs to make it the rest of the way, but by the time I opened the door to my room, one large hand was already down the back of my jeans, and the other was gripping the back of my neck to keep me from getting away again.
After we got inside, it didn't take long for our clothes to land on the floor and searching hands to discover skin slightly damp from the run up the stairs. In the nearly pitch black darkness of the room, it felt like he was everywhere, one hand splayed against my back while the other cupped one of my hips, and his lips and tongue were busy mapping out the hollow at the base of my throat. Brain blown, I let him keep going, both to cover my nervousness, and because it felt so damn good.
It was easy to get caught up in the sensations, just let myself close my eyes and let him ease me onto the bed and have his way with me. Even after almost a year on the road, I couldn't get a certain someone out of my thoughts, let alone find someone who wouldn't mind letting a young one-night-stand stay the night and have breakfast before he headed back out on the road. I still don't know what drove me to the bar near the hotel where I was staying, but the moment Dieter offered to buy me a drink, I knew.
Dieter was actually a nice guy, all things told. He had recently come out of closet and had been looking for something different than his type. I seemed to fit the bill, and he didn't mind that I was traveling the world. A one-night-stand, and we'd go our separate ways.
"Harry?"
"Hnnn?" I managed, noticing the finger that he was trailing down my chest, across my stomach, to swirl lazily around my navel.
"What do you want?"
"Yes," I said, not understanding the question.
I saw him blink in the dim moonlight that leaked through the curtains before a warm chuckle sounded. "It's good that you want to be here, but you're new to this."
I blinked back at him, and then watched as he made his way back up, dropping a kiss on my sternum before looking at me, blue eyes bright. "I am not," I protested a few seconds too late, looking away from his eyes before I was drawn into a soulgaze. I had a feeling it made me look even more nervous than I felt.
Dieter kissed my lips gently. "There's no shame in inexperience. We all have to start somewhere." He grinned, his teeth a white flash in the dark. "How else do you think I've become Casanova?"
I snorted, leaning up to kiss him. "I don't want to look like an idiot."
"The only way to do that is to let your fear take over," Dieter said calmly, settling down to my left and propping his head up with his right hand. "Any kind of sex can be very fun, if you let it be. We'll never see each other again, most likely, so you will have a good teacher, and I will have a memorable night with a young man whose eyes reminded me of good Swiss chocolate."
"Chocolate?" I asked, a bit stung.
"You've never had Swiss chocolate before? It's nothing to sneeze at," Dieter said, grinning. He traced a fingertip down my sternum, and then up to circle around a nipple. I gritted my teeth and hissed at the pleasure, but he stopped too soon. "Why'd you stop?"
"Because you still haven't answered my question," Dieter said calmly.
"Question?" I asked.
"What do you want?" Dieter asked, his voice going just a little lower. I bit my lower lip to stop from gasping, and turned over onto my side to face him.
"I..." I paused, and then admitted. "I'm not really sure."
A grey eyebrow lifted, and Dieter smirked a little. "You've never done this before?"
I glared at him. "Whatever happened to no shame in inexperience?"
"Hmph," Dieter grunted, still smiling, though the smile was gentler now. "Americans. So touchy about being virgins. Have you bedded a woman before, or are you new to all of this?"
"Yes, I've had sex with a woman before," I snapped, relieved that I could. Donnalisa Stephens had given me a handjob a few months before I dropped out of high school. No, it wasn't going 'all the way', but that still counted. After watching Dieter look at me squarely, looking more serious than he did a little while ago, I felt bad for snapping at him. "I know what I want," I told him firmly. "I want this."
Dieter watched me for another minute, and then nodded slowly. "Then we'll take this slowly." He leaned closer, brushing his lips against mine before whispering, "Savor every moment."
I shivered and reached for him.
His hands cupped my face, one of his thumbs brushing over my lips before he kissed me deeply. I was surprised he didn't go straight for the main event, but Dieter was doing what he promised -- taking it slowly, savoring every moment. If I had thought about something longer-term than the now, I think I would have stayed in Germany for him.
As it was, after kisses that flowed from moments to hours, his hands moved, tracing muscles, following curves. I felt fingers brush against my growing chest hair, straying far enough from their way down to ring around one nipple, and then the other. It didn't feel too interesting, but it was new. He eased me to lay on my back, and then continued his explorations, first with his fingers and palms, and then with his lips and tongue. The first time he'd used his teeth, I jumped and yelped a little, but he just chuckled and when he nibbled again, I shivered.
It was also a surprise when I felt a warm, wet mouth sliding down my erection instead of a slick hand, but it felt fantastic. I think I probably yelled out something garbled, but when I collapsed on the bed, I was too blissed out to care. Soon, I felt Dieter's warm presence next to me, looking amused and faintly protective, though I could have imagined that last part.
"I take it..." he started, but the rest came out in German that I missed. After taking a second to mutter the spell under my breath again and reassert my will, I asked him to repeat what he'd asked. He looked very smug at that, and said, "I asked if you have never been given oral sex before."
I used what little energy I had left to glare at him viciously, which only made him chuckle.
"I have my answer," Dieter smirked, and leaned down to brush a kiss against my lips.
Struck by a sudden urge, I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to keep him from moving away while opening my mouth.
"You might not like the taste," he warned me, his voice low and warm.
"Try me," I murmured back, and then he kissed me. It was weird, tasting myself in someone else's mouth, but the way his tongue curled and twisted with mine, I don't think he hated the taste, which kind of made me a little embarrassed and a little pleased that he'd want to taste it in the first place. We kept the kiss going until Dieter shifted to get more comfortable, and I could feel him hard against my thigh.
I pulled back from the kiss, and looked up at him. "Sorry about that."
Dieter frowned for a moment, and then chuckled again. "Don't apologize." He reached up with one large hand and cupped the side of my face, looking intently in my eyes before kissing my forehead. "And don't force yourself."
"I can do something for you," I huffed, reaching forward for him, but he shook his head.
"Harry."
For a second, I could almost have sworn that voice belonged to someone else. Someone who I was definitely not thinking about right now. "Dieter," I growled. "What do you want?"
He growled, and stared at me, his blue eyes narrowed, glittering in the narrow band of moonlight that fell across them. "I'd like to fuck you through the mattress until you scream."
That stopped me dead in my tracks, the shock killing whatever buzz I had leftover from the orgasm. "I..."
Dieter's eyes opened a little more, and he rolled until he was over me, his arms keeping his weight from crushing me into the mattress that he wanted to fuck me through. "I said don't force yourself," he said firmly, leaning down to brush his lips against mine. At first, I felt a surge of anger and shame run through me, but then he cupped my cheek with his big hand again, and I sighed.
"Dieter..." I started, but when I couldn't figure out what to say, my voice trailed off.
He shook his head. "No apologies. No shame." He leaned down to kiss me again, longer and slower and deeper than before, but not the urgent kind of need in it like I'd have when I needed to get off.
"Won't you let me do something?" I asked. "I could try giving you oral sex. I've never tried that before."
"Do you want to?" Dieter asked, watching me steadily.
I nodded. "It felt good." I reached up and rested a hand on his chest. "And I want to try it."
Whatever Dieter was looking for when he looked at me, he seemed to get, because then he nodded and laid back on the bed, rolling over onto his back and getting himself comfortable. I was a bit surprised at how... interested he looked. Luckily, if I was blushing, the darkness hid it.
Dieter was a big man, and, well, everything about him was built to proportion. I found myself staring at... him, wondering if I'd be able to get it in my mouth before I heard Dieter snort. I was about to tell him to refrain from color commentary when he sat up to kiss me deeply, and guided my hand to wrap around him and start a slow up-and-down motion. When the kiss ended and I kept the rhythm going, he nodded, his eyes lighting up as he eased himself back down on the bed.
I watched him for a minute, the flesh firm and damp in my hand, and after a mental three-count, I leaned down and licked the head slowly. Earning a slow moan, I glanced up to see Dieter staring at me like he couldn't stop. Closing my eyes, I tried not to think about high scores, and learned the very smooth flesh with my tongue. He tasted bitter, but I didn't taste that much different, so I kept going, letting my tongue dip to the underside, just below the head. I kept an ear out for any really enthusiastic moans, and when they started happening with more frequency, along with stuff that sounded like my translation spell was starting to wear off, I was feeling very proud of myself. When his voice got higher and louder, I wrapped my lips around the head, waiting for him to explode, and I was surprised by a hand cupping my cheek, trying to push me off. I made a 'nuh-uh' noise against him, and when he finally went off, my mouth was flooded with bitterness. I had to swallow quickly, but all in all, my first blowjob seemed to have been a success, if his dazed, blissful expression was anything to go by.
"You didn't have to swallow," he murmured, his voice slurring.
I smirked, feeling proud of myself. "I wanted to."
"You don't look like you enjoyed the taste that much," Dieter remarked, holding his arms open and beckoning to me with his fingers. I crawled up and laid down next to him, wiping at my lips. When I shrugged, he smirked. "That will come with time, I think."
He kissed my forehead again, and then kissed me deeply, not minding how he tasted at all. When we pulled back, I was starting to... get interested again, and he was smirking.
"You still have some on your hand," he murmured before taking my wrist and slowly licking my fingers, one by one. By the time he was through, I was whimpering.
I reached completion two more times before we finally fell asleep, Dieter wistfully murmuring about the recuperative powers of youth before wrapping his arms around me. It was warm there, and I felt safe, protected...
Guilty.
I frowned at that last one. Why should I have felt guilty? I hadn't pushed myself, Dieter had respected my unspoken boundaries when I'd tensed up. We'd had fun, and he was holding me. I didn't feel guilty for leading him on. We both knew going into this that we'd probably never see each other again. That wasn't it.
I closed my eyes. Think, Harry, think. What was it I felt guilty about?
My eyes snapped open when the thought occurred to me. "No..." I muttered under my breath. "No way..."
Yep. That was it. That was the only thing it could be.
I just cheated on Bob.
It didn't matter that I'd never said anything to him. It didn't matter that he wasn't even alive. I just had sex with someone else -- another man -- and I felt like a cheating husband. What made it worse was that Dieter had bits and pieces that looked like Bob, but the whole package wasn't him.
I hadn't felt this bad before, which confused me while my chest hurt with an indescribable ache. Messing around with girls was apparently just fine to my sense of morals, but as soon as I got into bed with another man, and one that looked like Bob at least a little bit, it was a one-way ticket to feeling like the scum of the earth.
I felt the weight shift behind me, and Dieter's arm tighten around me, pulling me closer.
It couldn't have been all bad. Dieter and I had had fun tonight. No pressure, no strings, and we'd have good memories from this. If nothing else, I was able to do that for him before he left for parts unknown, and I did the same. He was warm, he'd made me laugh while we were sitting at the bar, he'd kept me company when I didn't want to be alone.
He gave me my first experience with a warm, red-blooded guy.
Turning around as best I could and feeling hair being rubbed the wrong way, I closed my eyes and deliberately snuggled into Dieter's chest, trying to ignore the ache in my chest and remember the positives as I wrapped my arm around his waist and breathed in slowly, smelling sex and warmth before sighing heavily.
Sometimes, life just wasn't fair.
END
To start from the beginning, this way to Desperate Measures.
This way to the prequel, Vignette - The First Departure
This way to the sequel, Vignette - The First Confidant.
DISCLAIMER: The Dresden Files doesn't belong to me – the TV series belongs to Lionsgate, and the characters themselves were created by Jim Butcher. Written for entertainment purposes, no money made, please don't sue, yadda. I created an original character for the purposes of this fic, and he might never be used again. I dunno.
FANDOM: The Dresden Files
PAIRING: Harry/Bob UST, Harry/OMC
WORD COUNT: 2,847
RATING: NC-17, all the way.
WARNINGS: M/M slash.
SUMMARY: He was a nice guy, and hell, Harry needed the experience anyway.
PRAISE BE: A warm thank you goes out to
shiplizard and beachkid for their beta-reading, encouragement, and questions. I wouldn't have been able to make it without their patience and awesomeness. Thank you, guys!AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is part of the Forged series, which starts with Desperate Measures. You might want to read that first to understand what's going on.
***
His name was Dieter, and he kissed like he meant it.
He was a few inches taller than me, probably in his mid-forties, and his hands felt like he could break me in half if he felt like it. Fortunately for me, he was just holding onto my hips with a vise-like grip, and was still intent on shoving his tongue as far down my throat as he could.
I ended up having to stop the kiss when I saw the elevator light blink out. "Wait--"
"Muss ich?" It was a sign of how turned on I was that my translation spell was crapping out on me.
"The lights," I gasped out, my eyes closing as he started nibbling on my neck. "The elevator could screw up any minute."
The lips disappeared in the darkness, and when I concentrated on calming down, relaxing, the light gave a weak flicker, revealing Dieter's confused, blue eyes and short, white hair. "Das tut mir Leid?" he offered.
I murmured a quick word, and then explained it to him again.
"I've heard of this happening to people," Dieter offered, this time in English, "but this is ridiculous."
"I know," I told him, patting his arm awkwardly. "We need to get off on the next floor and take the stairs."
"That's not nearly as fun," Dieter rumbled, brushing a kiss against my lips.
I blinked at him, a bit surprised by the comment. I don't get a lot of compliments or hints that people are all that interested. So sue me. "We'll make up for it when we get to my room," I offered, jabbing the button to open the doors.
The elevator dinged, but the doors opened sluggishly, and I pushed Dieter out before the elevator car decided to drop the two of us down three floors to what could be a very messy end. I wasn't sure if that would really happen, but me and my libido weren't about to test the theory.
It took a few flights of stairs to make it the rest of the way, but by the time I opened the door to my room, one large hand was already down the back of my jeans, and the other was gripping the back of my neck to keep me from getting away again.
After we got inside, it didn't take long for our clothes to land on the floor and searching hands to discover skin slightly damp from the run up the stairs. In the nearly pitch black darkness of the room, it felt like he was everywhere, one hand splayed against my back while the other cupped one of my hips, and his lips and tongue were busy mapping out the hollow at the base of my throat. Brain blown, I let him keep going, both to cover my nervousness, and because it felt so damn good.
It was easy to get caught up in the sensations, just let myself close my eyes and let him ease me onto the bed and have his way with me. Even after almost a year on the road, I couldn't get a certain someone out of my thoughts, let alone find someone who wouldn't mind letting a young one-night-stand stay the night and have breakfast before he headed back out on the road. I still don't know what drove me to the bar near the hotel where I was staying, but the moment Dieter offered to buy me a drink, I knew.
Dieter was actually a nice guy, all things told. He had recently come out of closet and had been looking for something different than his type. I seemed to fit the bill, and he didn't mind that I was traveling the world. A one-night-stand, and we'd go our separate ways.
"Harry?"
"Hnnn?" I managed, noticing the finger that he was trailing down my chest, across my stomach, to swirl lazily around my navel.
"What do you want?"
"Yes," I said, not understanding the question.
I saw him blink in the dim moonlight that leaked through the curtains before a warm chuckle sounded. "It's good that you want to be here, but you're new to this."
I blinked back at him, and then watched as he made his way back up, dropping a kiss on my sternum before looking at me, blue eyes bright. "I am not," I protested a few seconds too late, looking away from his eyes before I was drawn into a soulgaze. I had a feeling it made me look even more nervous than I felt.
Dieter kissed my lips gently. "There's no shame in inexperience. We all have to start somewhere." He grinned, his teeth a white flash in the dark. "How else do you think I've become Casanova?"
I snorted, leaning up to kiss him. "I don't want to look like an idiot."
"The only way to do that is to let your fear take over," Dieter said calmly, settling down to my left and propping his head up with his right hand. "Any kind of sex can be very fun, if you let it be. We'll never see each other again, most likely, so you will have a good teacher, and I will have a memorable night with a young man whose eyes reminded me of good Swiss chocolate."
"Chocolate?" I asked, a bit stung.
"You've never had Swiss chocolate before? It's nothing to sneeze at," Dieter said, grinning. He traced a fingertip down my sternum, and then up to circle around a nipple. I gritted my teeth and hissed at the pleasure, but he stopped too soon. "Why'd you stop?"
"Because you still haven't answered my question," Dieter said calmly.
"Question?" I asked.
"What do you want?" Dieter asked, his voice going just a little lower. I bit my lower lip to stop from gasping, and turned over onto my side to face him.
"I..." I paused, and then admitted. "I'm not really sure."
A grey eyebrow lifted, and Dieter smirked a little. "You've never done this before?"
I glared at him. "Whatever happened to no shame in inexperience?"
"Hmph," Dieter grunted, still smiling, though the smile was gentler now. "Americans. So touchy about being virgins. Have you bedded a woman before, or are you new to all of this?"
"Yes, I've had sex with a woman before," I snapped, relieved that I could. Donnalisa Stephens had given me a handjob a few months before I dropped out of high school. No, it wasn't going 'all the way', but that still counted. After watching Dieter look at me squarely, looking more serious than he did a little while ago, I felt bad for snapping at him. "I know what I want," I told him firmly. "I want this."
Dieter watched me for another minute, and then nodded slowly. "Then we'll take this slowly." He leaned closer, brushing his lips against mine before whispering, "Savor every moment."
I shivered and reached for him.
His hands cupped my face, one of his thumbs brushing over my lips before he kissed me deeply. I was surprised he didn't go straight for the main event, but Dieter was doing what he promised -- taking it slowly, savoring every moment. If I had thought about something longer-term than the now, I think I would have stayed in Germany for him.
As it was, after kisses that flowed from moments to hours, his hands moved, tracing muscles, following curves. I felt fingers brush against my growing chest hair, straying far enough from their way down to ring around one nipple, and then the other. It didn't feel too interesting, but it was new. He eased me to lay on my back, and then continued his explorations, first with his fingers and palms, and then with his lips and tongue. The first time he'd used his teeth, I jumped and yelped a little, but he just chuckled and when he nibbled again, I shivered.
It was also a surprise when I felt a warm, wet mouth sliding down my erection instead of a slick hand, but it felt fantastic. I think I probably yelled out something garbled, but when I collapsed on the bed, I was too blissed out to care. Soon, I felt Dieter's warm presence next to me, looking amused and faintly protective, though I could have imagined that last part.
"I take it..." he started, but the rest came out in German that I missed. After taking a second to mutter the spell under my breath again and reassert my will, I asked him to repeat what he'd asked. He looked very smug at that, and said, "I asked if you have never been given oral sex before."
I used what little energy I had left to glare at him viciously, which only made him chuckle.
"I have my answer," Dieter smirked, and leaned down to brush a kiss against my lips.
Struck by a sudden urge, I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to keep him from moving away while opening my mouth.
"You might not like the taste," he warned me, his voice low and warm.
"Try me," I murmured back, and then he kissed me. It was weird, tasting myself in someone else's mouth, but the way his tongue curled and twisted with mine, I don't think he hated the taste, which kind of made me a little embarrassed and a little pleased that he'd want to taste it in the first place. We kept the kiss going until Dieter shifted to get more comfortable, and I could feel him hard against my thigh.
I pulled back from the kiss, and looked up at him. "Sorry about that."
Dieter frowned for a moment, and then chuckled again. "Don't apologize." He reached up with one large hand and cupped the side of my face, looking intently in my eyes before kissing my forehead. "And don't force yourself."
"I can do something for you," I huffed, reaching forward for him, but he shook his head.
"Harry."
For a second, I could almost have sworn that voice belonged to someone else. Someone who I was definitely not thinking about right now. "Dieter," I growled. "What do you want?"
He growled, and stared at me, his blue eyes narrowed, glittering in the narrow band of moonlight that fell across them. "I'd like to fuck you through the mattress until you scream."
That stopped me dead in my tracks, the shock killing whatever buzz I had leftover from the orgasm. "I..."
Dieter's eyes opened a little more, and he rolled until he was over me, his arms keeping his weight from crushing me into the mattress that he wanted to fuck me through. "I said don't force yourself," he said firmly, leaning down to brush his lips against mine. At first, I felt a surge of anger and shame run through me, but then he cupped my cheek with his big hand again, and I sighed.
"Dieter..." I started, but when I couldn't figure out what to say, my voice trailed off.
He shook his head. "No apologies. No shame." He leaned down to kiss me again, longer and slower and deeper than before, but not the urgent kind of need in it like I'd have when I needed to get off.
"Won't you let me do something?" I asked. "I could try giving you oral sex. I've never tried that before."
"Do you want to?" Dieter asked, watching me steadily.
I nodded. "It felt good." I reached up and rested a hand on his chest. "And I want to try it."
Whatever Dieter was looking for when he looked at me, he seemed to get, because then he nodded and laid back on the bed, rolling over onto his back and getting himself comfortable. I was a bit surprised at how... interested he looked. Luckily, if I was blushing, the darkness hid it.
Dieter was a big man, and, well, everything about him was built to proportion. I found myself staring at... him, wondering if I'd be able to get it in my mouth before I heard Dieter snort. I was about to tell him to refrain from color commentary when he sat up to kiss me deeply, and guided my hand to wrap around him and start a slow up-and-down motion. When the kiss ended and I kept the rhythm going, he nodded, his eyes lighting up as he eased himself back down on the bed.
I watched him for a minute, the flesh firm and damp in my hand, and after a mental three-count, I leaned down and licked the head slowly. Earning a slow moan, I glanced up to see Dieter staring at me like he couldn't stop. Closing my eyes, I tried not to think about high scores, and learned the very smooth flesh with my tongue. He tasted bitter, but I didn't taste that much different, so I kept going, letting my tongue dip to the underside, just below the head. I kept an ear out for any really enthusiastic moans, and when they started happening with more frequency, along with stuff that sounded like my translation spell was starting to wear off, I was feeling very proud of myself. When his voice got higher and louder, I wrapped my lips around the head, waiting for him to explode, and I was surprised by a hand cupping my cheek, trying to push me off. I made a 'nuh-uh' noise against him, and when he finally went off, my mouth was flooded with bitterness. I had to swallow quickly, but all in all, my first blowjob seemed to have been a success, if his dazed, blissful expression was anything to go by.
"You didn't have to swallow," he murmured, his voice slurring.
I smirked, feeling proud of myself. "I wanted to."
"You don't look like you enjoyed the taste that much," Dieter remarked, holding his arms open and beckoning to me with his fingers. I crawled up and laid down next to him, wiping at my lips. When I shrugged, he smirked. "That will come with time, I think."
He kissed my forehead again, and then kissed me deeply, not minding how he tasted at all. When we pulled back, I was starting to... get interested again, and he was smirking.
"You still have some on your hand," he murmured before taking my wrist and slowly licking my fingers, one by one. By the time he was through, I was whimpering.
I reached completion two more times before we finally fell asleep, Dieter wistfully murmuring about the recuperative powers of youth before wrapping his arms around me. It was warm there, and I felt safe, protected...
Guilty.
I frowned at that last one. Why should I have felt guilty? I hadn't pushed myself, Dieter had respected my unspoken boundaries when I'd tensed up. We'd had fun, and he was holding me. I didn't feel guilty for leading him on. We both knew going into this that we'd probably never see each other again. That wasn't it.
I closed my eyes. Think, Harry, think. What was it I felt guilty about?
My eyes snapped open when the thought occurred to me. "No..." I muttered under my breath. "No way..."
Yep. That was it. That was the only thing it could be.
I just cheated on Bob.
It didn't matter that I'd never said anything to him. It didn't matter that he wasn't even alive. I just had sex with someone else -- another man -- and I felt like a cheating husband. What made it worse was that Dieter had bits and pieces that looked like Bob, but the whole package wasn't him.
I hadn't felt this bad before, which confused me while my chest hurt with an indescribable ache. Messing around with girls was apparently just fine to my sense of morals, but as soon as I got into bed with another man, and one that looked like Bob at least a little bit, it was a one-way ticket to feeling like the scum of the earth.
I felt the weight shift behind me, and Dieter's arm tighten around me, pulling me closer.
It couldn't have been all bad. Dieter and I had had fun tonight. No pressure, no strings, and we'd have good memories from this. If nothing else, I was able to do that for him before he left for parts unknown, and I did the same. He was warm, he'd made me laugh while we were sitting at the bar, he'd kept me company when I didn't want to be alone.
He gave me my first experience with a warm, red-blooded guy.
Turning around as best I could and feeling hair being rubbed the wrong way, I closed my eyes and deliberately snuggled into Dieter's chest, trying to ignore the ache in my chest and remember the positives as I wrapped my arm around his waist and breathed in slowly, smelling sex and warmth before sighing heavily.
Sometimes, life just wasn't fair.
END
To start from the beginning, this way to Desperate Measures.
This way to the prequel, Vignette - The First Departure
This way to the sequel, Vignette - The First Confidant.
